Let's not waste any time, let's dive right into it. The Elimination Chamber fantasy booking that those reading have undoubtedly been waiting to see...
The Attitude Era
The Participants: Stone Cold Steve Austin (c) vs. The Rock vs. Triple H vs. Cactus Jack vs. Kane vs. The Undertaker
Order of Entry: The Rock (3), Kane (4), Stone Cold Steve Austin (5), Triple H (6); The Undertaker and Cactus Jack start the match
The Breakdown: Perhaps the most star-studded match on the card of matches I've assembled, every one of the participants in this match spent a good chunk of March 1997 to July 2002 as the guy on top of the mountain. Three of them main-evented Wrestlemania 2000. Two others could have been in the same position save for a contractual dispute and a lengthy rehabilitation that kept them from competing. As for Kane, well, The Big Red Monster was easily one of the most intimidating, compelling and dominant fixtures of the Attitude Era and some might even argue into the Ruthless Aggression Era. The buildup to his ultimate reveal in October 1997 was one of the most gripping storylines of the New Generation Era and the payoff was just as much a heralding trumpet for the Attitude Era as Austin 3:16. As with the field of six presented in the previous post, these six got to know each other VERY well in the following five year window and would've made for a fantastic main event on any card at the time. It's truly unfortunate that the opportunity never afforded itself.
I've elected The Deadman and Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy to start the contest because classic moments tend to happen when this duo in particular clash at the beginning of a match (See: King of the Ring 1998). However, for a match of this magnitude I've decided that while Mankind performed admirably inside Hell In A Cell, only ONE Foley persona is sadistic and twisted enough to get the job done--Cactus Jack.
The Analysis: The match begins with The Undertaker slowly, methodically pacing from corner to corner trying to elicit some form of intimidation from each of his opponents locked in their pods. Cactus Jack emerges through the crowd and approaches the chamber door. As officials hold it open, awaiting his entrance, Foley assaults one of the referees and slams the door shut. Cactus wraps the chain around the latch and padlocks the gate. Having learned nothing from his encounter with Taker in Pittsburgh, Foley once again begins scaling the chamber and crawls onto the roof. Inviting the Demon of Death Valley to join him, Cactus needs not wait too long. The Undertaker begins climbing the turnbuckles, up onto a pod and through a panel in the ceiling to meet him on the roof of the Chamber. They trade blows until Taker gains the upper hand and positions Foley for a chokeslam through the roof, but this time Cactus has it scouted. The Hardcore Icon reaches through the grate of the ceiling and inexplicably produces his baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire before embedding it in The Undertaker's cranium.
Wounded but incensed, Taker kicks the bat down into the chamber and seizes Cactus by the throat, chokeslamming him through the chamber to the canvas anyway. In true Foley fashion, Jack lands back of the head first on the barbed wire. Shaking his head in a bizarre combination of disgust, disbelief and morbid admiration, Taker slowly climbs back down into the chamber and meets Foley on the floor, but there's no quit in the Human Crash Test Dummy as Cactus Jack responds with a Double Arm DDT on the bat. Foley crawls to the cover, but Taker kicks out at 2 1/2. After a breathtaking five minutes, the buzzer sounds and out steps The Great One.
The Rock comes flying out of his pod with lightning fast jabs and uppercuts, running lariats and punctuates his emergence with a Samoan Drop to Cactus Jack and a snap DDT to the Undertaker out on the steel. Rock leaps back to his feet and turns his attention back to Cactus Jack. He helps Foley back to his feet and starts directing traffic, instructing Cactus to roll Taker back into the ring. Rock begins stalking Taker and proceeds to plant him with a Rock Bottom as Foley heads to the corner. Climbing back to the top of the pod, Cactus Jack unsuccessfully defies gravity, connecting with a Cactus Elbow. Sensing the end is near, The Rock removes an elbow pad and throws it defiantly in the direction of Triple H's pod before connecting with The People's Elbow on the Deadman. With Foley still recovering from the landing, The Rock goes for the cover. Alas, just as the referee starts the count, the buzzer sounds and out steps The Big Red Machine to disrupt the count.
With Foley and The Undertaker in extremely dire circumstances, Kane instead focuses his aggression on the relatively rested Rock. Kane whips The Rock to the ropes and catapults The Brahma Bull to the outside and on to the steel grate with a back body drop. Kane then proceeds to press slam The Rock against each of the chambers four chain walls and concludes the barrage by shooting The Rock through the plate glass window of The Big Red Monster's recently vacated pod. With the rest of the chamber's participants momentarily at his mercy, Kane now turns to Cactus Jack and chokeslams him through The Rock's empty pod. The Undertaker returns to his feet and The Brothers of Destruction align against The Rock and Sock Connection--attempting an in-stereo Tombstone Piledriver, but The Rock escape's Kane's clutches and immediately frees Foley to help turn the tables. As Foley and The Undertaker and The Rock and Kane brawl in opposite corners, the buzzer goes off again and out comes the champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Not one to discriminate, The Texas Rattlesnake blasts everything that moves in succession, a back body drop to Cactus Jack and knife-edged chops to both Kane and The Undertaker before pouncing on The Rock with a Lou Thesz Press and a flurry of right hands. Austin ricochets off the ropes and drills Foley with a pointed elbow to the skull. With each opponent crawling to a respective corner, Austin starts with a Mudhole Stomp to Kane, then Cactus Jack, followed by The Undertaker and finally the Rock...Seemingly unstoppable, Austin hits a Stunner on the Rock that sends The People's Champion careening across the ring in a series of three backward somersaults. Attempting to continue the momentum, Austin tries another stunner on Cactus Jack, but Foley answers with a Mandible Claw. Austin escapes but is thrown directly into the path of a Chokeslam by The Undertaker.
Having regained control, The Deadman turns his attention to Kane and executes Old School and a Suicide Dive that sends both crashing into the wall of the chamber. Both roll back into the ring and Taker sets up for a Tombstone Piledriver. Kane shifts his weight and counters into a Tombstone Piledriver of his own. Taker shifts BACK and in the process rolls over the top rope and out to the steel floor. The Deadman follows through with a resounding Tombstone on the steel grate that sends Kane to the back as the first elimination of the bout.
The buzzer sounds for the final time and out comes Triple H. Taking full advantage of his favorable draw, The Game corners Cactus Jack in one of the empty pods and begins pummeling him with straight fists to the face before choking him out. Hunter drops Austin with a Harley Race high knee, takes out The Undertaker with a DDT and nails The Rock with a knee smash to the face. Cactus Jack attempts to respond, but is met with a Double A Spinebuster and a Ric Flair knee drop. The Undertaker falls to a running neckbreaker and Triple H tries to finish off Austin with a shortarm clothesline, but Austin dodges and connects with another Stunner.
All five men down, Foley returns to his feet first and drops Austin with a Cactus Clothesline to the outside floor. Mick winds up for the Mandible Claw and locks it in on Triple H, but unbeknownst to Cactus, the Billion Dollar Princess, Stephanie McMahon arrives at ringside and slides Triple H's sledghammer into his waiting hand. The Game works back to a semi-vertical base and buries the sledgehammer directly into Foley's ribcage. With a bloodied Cactus Jack down on his knees, Hunter performs the coup de grace and with one mighty swing, snaps the sledgehammer in half across the back of Foley's head. A Pedigree later for good measure leaves Cactus Jack defenseless and narrows the field to four.
From here, the match begins to unravel quickly. Turning his attention to The Rock, Triple H attempts another Pedigree to put the Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment away, but before he can completely lock in the underhook, Rock counters and comes back with a spinebuster on the steel. Before The Game can fully return to his feet, The Rock gets him into position for the Rock Bottom and connects. A cover and a count later and the field moves to three.
As officials open the door to release Foley and Triple H, The Big Show storms to the chamber and begins destroying everything in sight. Clotheslines, punches and chokeslams everywhere, Show obliterates Cactus Jack and Triple H before strangling The Rock in the chain link wall, throwing Austin through the last remaining pod with glass still in it and putting on the exclamation point with a chokeslam to the Undertaker that collapses a section of the steel grate floor. Security escorts the Big Show away, but not before he leaves a trail of carnage in his wake. A sanguine Austin crawls to cover the fallen Undertaker and as one might have suspected, it has come down to The Rock and The Rattlesnake.
The pair pull themselves to their feet with what little they have left and begin to trade rights and lefts, practically on instinct. Austin strikes first with a Stunner, but The Rock somehow escapes at two. As Austin drags The Rock back to his feet, a shot of adrenaline helps Rocky connect with another Rock Bottom, but it's not enough to vanquish the Bionic Redneck. In disbelief, The Rock argues the count and unwittingly staggers into a second stunner. Austin crawls to the cover, but The Rock refuses to die. The Brahma Bull answers with a spinebuster and a second People's Elbow, but something in Austin just won't let him quit either.
In a scene reminiscent of Wrestlemania 13, The Rock locks a bloody Austin in the Sharpshooter. The Rattlesnake screams in agony, but somehow finds it in himself to break the hold before losing consciousness. As a barely breathing Austin recuperates on the mat, a desperate Rock pleads with the official to ring the bell and declare him the victor. The Rock steps outside the chamber door, which was never closed following Big Show's departure and grabs two chairs. He slams one down on the canvas and wedges the other between the top and middle turnbuckles in the corner. As the Rock sets up for what would surely be a devastating and emphatic Rock Bottom, Austin counters out with a series of five back elbows to the temple and throws The Rock headfirst through the waiting chair in the corner. The Rock wobbles back out and into the path of a third and final stunner. The ref logs the three count, let the beer bash begin.
The Winner AND STILL WWF Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin
Alright, so this one probably came as no surprise and was more than a little long-winded. For that, I apologize. I felt as though at least one of these fantasy matches should see the defending champion retain. All the same, though, I would have DEFINITELY paid the price of admission to see a match like this one play out at the time. Stay tuned for the next entry when I profile another match featuring superstars who shone brightly during the Brand Extension/Ruthless Aggression Era. The participants in this match might be a little harder to predict than this one was. Until next time, readers.
-TSR
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