Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Wrestlemania 29: What's right, what's wrong, what to expect and what Vince could be planning
The Showcase of the Immortals.
The Granddaddy of 'em All.
The Grandest Stage of Them All.
You know how it goes....Whether you're a fan or follower of WWE or not, there's no denying that Wrestlemania has every professional wrestling fan's attention every year around the same time. And lo and behold, the time has come again.
With that said, there may be an underlying theme to this year's Spring Classic that could produce another moniker:
The Fantastic Four.
Brief History Lesson #1: In 1992, Wrestlemania VIII went to the Indianapolis Hoosier Dome on the billing of a "Double Main Event". That night, the then-WWF prided itself on TWO blockbuster contests set up to carry the show: Randy Savage and Ric Flair for the belt, and a grudge match between Hulk Hogan and Sid Justice.
Since the World Heavyweight Championship was re-introduced in the Fall of 2002, Vince and company have flirted with pushing that main event number to four. And in certain years--
2003 (One could argue the number was five), 2004 and 2005, 2008, 2010 and 2012, he has succeeded.
These cards usually consist of the two World Championship matches, the perennial challenge to The Undertaker's vaunted "Streak" and another grudge match with deep-seeded personal roots. This year's spectacle is no different, and once again the number is four.
In the headline, we once again find The Rock and John Cena, this time for the WWE Championship. The World Championship will be defended by a very game Alberto Del Rio against a defiant, almost zealot-like challenger in Jack Swagger. CM Punk is the brave soul who has dared to challenge The Streak this year and Triple H has earned his return match with Brock Lesnar from Summerslam under No Holds Barred rules. The rub is that there's a LOT more than pride on the line in the rematch.
A fine marquee, to be sure. But the number four might run a lot deeper than just the number of main events this year. Anyone who has followed Vince McMahon long enough knows that when the lights are on bright, he's the kind of guy that likes to push the envelope and do things that haven't been done before. What better way to make history than to make sure that this is the first Wrestlemania to feature FOUR World Title defenses.
Yeah, you read that right.
Currently, two World Title matches are scheduled, but I can't help but shake the feeling that Mr. McMahon has an ace up his sleeve that he's being VERY careful not to show anyone. I've made my best effort to try to prognosticate what the Wrestlemania card might look like in a little under three weeks and this is what I've come up with.
YouTube Pre-Show:
Word is that the regular 30-minute pre-show available for download will be extended to a full sixty minutes and may or may not have a bearing on matches that are taking place later on in the pay-per-view. The prolonged time frame leads me to believe that there will be two contests prior to the main show rather than the usual one, which brings me to my first prediction.
Chris Jericho versus Fandango
Analysis: For the record, I LOVE the Fandango character and was really getting into the gimmick of him putting off his debut--that is until it went into its third week. The only explanation for this match being pitched is among the flimsiest of excuses and that would be Jericho's "Dancing With The Stars" connection. Jericho deserves better than a booking against a thus-far unproven Johnny Curtis, let alone on what could be WWE's largest stage in six years. I'm not convinced that Vince doesn't have his finger hovering over the "Abandon Gimmick" button or if he hasn't pushed it already.
Should they decide to go forward with this match (and at long last it looks like they might), the dodging will continue. Jericho might rough him up for a couple of minutes after the bell, but it will ultimately end as all other Fandango encounters have in recent weeks, with the company's resident ballroom dancer walking away.
Winner: Chris Jericho by Count Out
I don't like it either, but I think Mr. McMahon has given up on the gimmick. I'll need to see more than what I'm seeing lately to believe otherwise.
WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Hell No versus Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston
Analysis: I'm not a fan of how this one was set up either. The team of Kane and Daniel Bryan was established on the principle of just how dysfunctional they were and that they succeeded in spite of that. But the logical culmination would have been a subsequent self-destruction in time for Wrestlemania season leading to a match between the two, not another procedural, by-the-numbers title defense. Big E Langston is another one (much like Fandango) that WWE has been sitting on for months and doing nothing constructive with him. Now, because it's Wrestlemania, suddenly he has a match on the Grand Stage, for a title, nonetheless.
In any case, Team Hell No will lose the titles sooner rather than later, just not at Mania. As has been the case since what should have been a career-defining victory over John Cena at TLC, Dolph will take the fall here. It won't matter in the long run, though. As the blue briefcase indicates, Ziggler will have bigger fish to fry on this night.
Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No
The tag titles will close out the pre-show which will bring us to the Main Event--so to speak. As with every year, Vince will want to open the show strong with one of the four advertised blockbusters. Which means the curtain-jerker will be--
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio versus Jack Swagger
Analysis: I had my doubts about this match when the bracket was set at Elimination Chamber, but it very quickly gained steam and within the following week, more people were talking about this World title match than the one WWE brass wanted them to focus on (Cena-Rock II). From the brilliantly-timed introduction of Zeb Coulter, to the external attention that Glenn Beck drew on himself for criticizing the angle, to Swagger's DUI throwing the match into uncertainty to Del Rio's impassioned promo against Swagger and Coulter's acidic rhetoric, this storyline had everyone talking. The buzz cooled off when ADR and Ricardo Rodriguez started cutting their own taped parodies to Coulter's rants, but Monday night helped stoke the fire again as Swagger (kayfabe) broke Ricardo's ankle with the Patriot Act Ankle Lock. This will fuel what is by now an emotionally-charged contest (for both participant and viewer) to be a fantastic match and motivate Del Rio to reach down deep and give Swagger everything he's got en route to a successful title defense.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio
The euphoria will be short-lived, however, as Swagger won't take the defeat graciously. With Ricardo incapacitated, an exhaustive match will leave Del Rio defenseless against an incensed Swagger and, in an ironic twist of fate, it's Swagger's former tag team partner that will reap the rewards.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio versus Dolph Ziggler
Analysis: With little to nothing left from the grueling battle with Swagger, Del Rio will fall easy prey to a fresh Ziggler when after nine months, Dolph will finally surrender the briefcase to which he's been doggedly clinging. A Zig Zag later, and the Show Off will become a 2-time World Heavyweight Champion.
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Dolph Ziggler
Even though it's one of the most sloppily put-together matches on the card (not including the pre-show), The six-man tag match has the potential to create something certain fans have been waiting for over three years.
Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Big Show versus The Shield
Analysis: Excluding dark matches, The Shield have not lost a match since their premiere in November. That trend will continue, but not for reasons you might think. Granted, The Shield has a decided advantage due to the existing animosity between Sheamus and The Big Show, not to mention Randy Orton's inability to function as part of a unit and THAT's what will ultimately give The Shield the duke. Look for Orton's dark side to rear its ugly head at the most critical juncture of the match and drop Sheamus with an RKO before walking out on this already tenuous faction.
Winners: The Shield
The fans will need a few minutes to decompress from the excitement of the World Title shake-up before jumping into the next main event, so enter Mania's first five-minute slot-filler--
Kaitlyn, The Funkadactyls and Maria Menuounos versus Layla, Tamina and The Bella Twins
Analysis: Ugh....Yeah, there's actually talk that they'll invite her back for another pointless match. Let's face it, since Beth Phoenix and Eve left, the Diva's Division (or what remains of it) has become a joke. Kaitlyn is practically the best they have now because their actual wrestlers are jobbing to Layla or dancing with The Great Khali and Hornswoggle.
The rule of thumb is that unless you're wrestling against Andre The Giant in a Battle Royal, the celebrity is going to have a pretty good time if they're competing at Wrestlemania. Expect a Kaitlyn spear to either Tamina or one of the Bellas followed by a haphazard cover by Menuounos so she can get credit for the pin.
Winners: Expendable Diva's Team #1 featuring Celebrity
Somewhere in the midst of the card, Dolph Ziggler will be celebrating his conquest and will seek to settle unfinished business. Wanting to silence one of his biggest challengers once and for all. Ziggler's bravado will prevail and he'll actively seek out Chris Jericho, who, will unquestionably be feeling slighted from his almost-match during the pre-show and will leap at the opportunity to prove he can "Win The Big One at the Big One". I apologize, but I simply cannot divorce myself from the feeling that this match should be happening. Ziggler's promo from last summer keeps ringing in my ears.
Onto the next one--
No Holds Barred: Triple H versus Brock Lesnar
Analysis: Ok. For the most part, this match was a foregone conclusion:
1. Brock Lesnar wins at Summerslam
2. Spirit broken, Triple H takes self-imposed sabbatical to examine his ability.
3. Spirit renewed by attack on Vince, Triple H returns to exact vengeance.
4. Triple H returns to Wrestlemania and puts Lesnar down emphatically.
But an intriguing wrinkle was added to the dynamic on Monday night. Namely, Hunter's career being putting on the line.
Has Triple H "resigned" himself to his corporate position already? Or does he feel that he still has something to prove by defeating the one man he's crossed paths with that he can't claim a victory over yet? Regardless of the outcome, this match will be every bit as brutal as Lesnar's demeanor suggests.The Game may be left with no choice but to retire after getting through this match, but he'll do it on his terms, finishing on top.
Winner: Triple H
One of the most frustrating aspects of storyline development this past year was trying to find a suitable opponent for Ryback so the match would last longer than 30 seconds. Even when jobbing to CM Punk and The Shield, Ryback was still the odds-on-favorite each and every time. Admittedly, I was getting excited for the prospect of them matching Ryback against The Big Show and seeing if he could manage to get Big Show on his shoulders. It's not the match I was originally hoping for, but it looks like they've finally succeeded in finding a challenge.
Ryback versus Mark Henry
Analysis: Unsurprisingly, Mark Henry has a distinct size, and perhaps even strength advantage over WWE's human wrecking ball. However, Ryback hasn't won a high-profile match since September. He's long overdue for one, even by normal standards. After a hard-fought battle, look for Ryback to somehow, some way, hoist the monstrous World's Strongest Man onto his shoulders and drill him with Shell Shock for the impressive victory.
Winner: Ryback
This will feed into the third World title match of the evening--
World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler versus Chris Jericho
Analysis: This is the World Title match that the WWE Universe deserves. Will it happen? Probably not. This match would serve as a proving ground for both men. For Ziggler, it's a platform to demonstrate that he's not just another transitional champion and that he can actually hold his own as champion against an established entity. For Jericho, it's an opportunity to prove that he hasn't lost his stride. That despite all of his time away, he can come back, main event, steal the show and deliver when it counts. If presented with the chance, both would pass with flying colors, but Ziggler would need the victory more on this night. Expect a valiant outing from Jericho, but Dolph escapes with the gold.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Dolph Ziggler
Alright. I've spent the most time weighing the possibilities of the next match, and the prediction is no less controversial for it.
Respect vs. Streak: CM Punk versus The Undertaker
Analysis: The Undertaker's time is limited. That's just a fact. Any other year, this would be the safest bet one could make on Wrestlemania, but there's just something about the underlying themes and circumstances of this year.
For 434 days, CM Punk was the standard-bearer for the company and since the original "Pipe Bomb" in 2011 is easily one of the most, if not THE most talked-about WWE superstar on a weekly basis. The Undertaker has been the most iconic figure in WWE for the better part of 25 years now. But his legendary status has come with a price tag. Namely, only appearing for one match per year (by the way, Triple H is looking at real estate in that neighborhood).
Taker's legacy supposedly hinges on "20-0" and granted, it's a more than impressive feat and will likely never be matched again. And sure, maybe Paul Bearer's passing will serve as motivation for his victory, but I see something else at work here.
Since he started getting higher levels of recognition, Punk has heralded himself as "The Best In The World" and he certainly has the credentials. World Champion. ECW Champion. Intercontinental Champion. Tag Team Champion. The longest reigning WWE Champion of the last 25 years. And yes, controversial finish aside, the only man on record to make The Undertaker tap out.
While the source may be in question, the inside scoop is that when WWE brass approached The Undertaker about potential challengers at Wrestlemania on the heels of the Royal Rumble, Taker brought up one name and said he wanted him to be the man that ended The Streak. WWE Creative didn't want the Streak to be broken, which may have attributed to Taker's Wrestlemania status being thrown into question last month.
So does Vince McMahon respect the wishes of the man that has served his company longer than any other tenured WWE superstar past or present? Or will he instead turn to the creative team that has been so plagued by problems lately, that certain heads of the department have been dismissed?
Paul Bearer's gone. 20-1 is definitely nothing to be ashamed of, and Taker is a surefire first ballot Hall of Famer at Wrestlemania XXX next year. Can't you just feel it? When the smoke clears, I just feel that CM Punk will NOT Rest In Peace, but the Streak WILL GO TO SLEEP. Expect Taker to ride off into the sunset with one final heartfelt salute to Paul Bearer before passing the torch to Punk.
Winner: CM Punk
After that emotionally exhausting match, the fans will need a breather before Rock-Cena II. Enter slot-filler #2--
Wade Barrett, Antonio Cesaro, Rhodes Scholars and Primetime Players versus The Miz, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Brodus Clay, Tensai and Christian
Analysis: Here's a fun fact--Antonio Cesaro has held the Star Spangled strap longer than any other current title-holder on the roster. Yes, that includes Kane and Daniel Bryan who've been the de facto tag champions since September.
Since disposing of Santino Marella in impressive fashion at Summerslam, no one has been able to wrestle the U.S. title away from the Swiss Superman's clutches. You'd think he'd have a match at Wrestlemania, right?
Hold that thought.
With two weeks remaining until Mania, big names like the ones you see above you still have no plans for April 7. Unfortunately, the most deserving among them (Barrett, Cesaro, Miz, Rhodes and Sandow) will likely be relegated to the annual "Team Teddy v. Team Johnny" train wreck that creative books when they can't think of how to use a handful of superstars.
Miz' team will be a man short going into the Show of Shows, so expect a medically-cleared Christian to make his return here shortly and pick up where he left off. Remember, Christian was in the midst of a feud with Cesaro when he suffered yet another setback. A Cesaro-Christian program could be on the horizon, if Captain Charisma can only stay healthy. The match will likely end after about five, ten minutes when Miz puts away Darren Young. Expect a long, drawn out Brodus Clay dance routine after the match, too...
Winners: Team Miz
And last, but not least....
WWE Championship: The Rock versus John Cena
Analysis: There's really no sense in spending much time on this one. Everything has already been said. Cena wants redemption and he's going to get it. And since all former champions get a rematch clause--brace yourselves for Rock-Cena III at Extreme Rules in May. I don't like it any more than you do, but it's happening. At least it'll be the last one.
The question is how they plan to do it. The higher-ups have already said that they're prepared for Cena to get booed out of the building, so why not turn a negative into a positive?
Brief History Lesson #2: Remember 2001? That was the last time the Rock was featured in the title hunt at Wrestlemania. His opponent was a guy who was considered the universally beloved cash cow of the company. His name was Stone Cold Steve Austin. Remember what happened then? Austin proceeded to "sell his soul to the Devil" when he aligned himself with Mr. McMahon. The next few months raised some eyebrows as WCW and ECW went on to invade the company and it all culminated in what is still considered one of the best main events in Survivor Series history.
Now while the "Universally Beloved" label may no longer apply, John Cena is still most definitely the cash cow. Giving fans the most anticipated heel turn since Hollywood Hogan would be just the exclamation point that Wrestlemania 29 needs. But then again, I could be giving the Creative Team just a LITTLE too much credit.
I guess we'll find out in a couple of Sundays.
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